Small steps

OK, so I thought I had it sussed. Optimism over pessimism, anger management under control.  However, when your emotional response to the news is one of overwhelm, it turns out that's a whole different kettle of fish.

Determined to make a difference and armed with my new found podcast from last week, I set out on a daily programme of re-education.  But a few days in and it's time for a rethink!  Instead of feeling inspired as I expanded my mind beyond the usual dog walking mental challenge of 'PopMaster' I started drowning in a sea of hopelessness.

There is just too much wrong with the world: too many awful things happening to too many people and too much complacency about it; too much greed; too much plastic; and too many lies.

It didn't take long for these feelings of anguish to spill over into my own life and Bam! instead of striding out across the park enjoying the fresh air and signs of spring, I'm trudging along getting stuck in the mud and dreaming of getting home to retreat under a blanket for the rest of the day.

Recognising the signs, but with a resolve to do something positive, I google 'overwhelm' and come across an article on talkspace.com entitled How to Manage When We Feel Overwhelm by Jessica DuBois-Maahs.

By definition being emotionally overwhelmed means to be completely submerged by your thoughts and emotions about all of life's current problems, to the point where you lack efficacy and feel frozen or paralysed.

This is me! I read on and discover that not only am I not alone but that, to a certain degree, my feelings of anxiety are normal, they've just got a little out of hand and that accepting them for what they are, breathing deeply and reversing my overwhelmed thought process should see me start to regain control. I need to focus on what I can do rather than what I can't.

Forcing myself out from under the aforementioned blanket to go running, I literally catch sight of myself on the run down to the track.  Hair tied back in pigtails, I may look like a middle aged version of Greta Thunberg, but it's time to recognise that my contribution in life is going to be a lot less remarkable.

I have a duty of care to the environment and what is happening in the world, but the responsibility towards effecting change is a collective one.  The small changes that I can make may be futile if there is only me doing them, but if we all try then I genuinely believe that the sum of whole will be greater than that of the parts, because I have to hope that we can make a difference.

So, if last week was about looking for positive moments, then this week has been about making small changes.  I have done a food shop for the whole week, thus reducing my petrol consumption, I have run to and from track for the first time, reducing it further.  I have, where possible, bought loose vegetables and, ignoring the looks from the other shoppers, loaded them onto the conveyor belt in separate piles rather than bag them by type.  I have made soup rather than buy it in a plastic container. I have ditched cotton wool pads in favour of a face cloth and started to research alternatives to shampoo but I have to admit I stopped short of taking a beaten egg into the shower with me this morning after heeding the warning that the temperature of the water might scramble it mid clean!  Small steps perhaps, but they are my steps, things that I can do over and above what I was already doing.  My question to you then is this - what are yours?