100 Seconds to Midnight

Ten days - one dress - several hundred photographs! I've had mixed feelings about the first tenth of my 100 Day Dress Challenge.  For whilst I am loving wearing the dress and subsequent liberation from the ongoing question of "What am I going to wear today?" I'm pretty sure that stressing over the daily photographic evidence was not the intended outcome, and certainly doesn't fit with premise of having more time to do the things you love.  It is, after all, not a photographic competition - but by the time I am a couple of days in, I have a sneaking suspicion that, for me, it might as well be.  And when, on Day 4 I discover that fog is forecast for the following morning and message a friend to ask if she'd be up for a 8.30am woodland photoshoot to catch the atmosphere, I think I'd be hard pushed to convince anyone otherwise. Luckily for me, said friend was indeed prepared to take on the job and off we went into the woods in search of the perfect shot.  Seph...

"Where the light is brightest, the shadows are deepest." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe There are two ways in which I use Instagram - one is to post a photograph which appears on my page until I take it down, the other is to add to 'my story' and the post will appear for a day - but requires more effort to both see it and 'like' it.  So, when my 'Blue Skies - Happy Earth Day' story on Wednesday draws little attention and no comments I am unsure as to whether it just wasn't that noteworthy, or if in some way I have made an error of judgement and that a 'Happy Earth Day' is the very last thing the world was having on Wednesday and that somehow my enjoyment of it has instantly rendered me less empathic. Looking for evidence to the contrary, I took the book 'Braving the Wilderness' by Brené Brown down off the shelf and discovered that for the second week in a row I, (and now you) have inadvertently stumbled into the realm of Carl Ju...

Live in the uncertainties my dear. Invent little moments inside those maybes and grow there. Akif Kichloo Early in January, on what was then a normal day, driving to walk the dog in an open space, free to speak to whomever I chose and able to concentrate long enough to listen to a podcast, I picked up an extraordinary email offering me the opportunity to apply to attend a European cultural conference.  The chance of my being chosen as one of the delegates was slim but, for me, the fact that I had been considered worthy of applying was huge. When, at the end of February, I learned that my application had been unsuccessful I was naturally disappointed but listening to the writer Olivia Laing being interviewed about a relationship breakup, I realised that when she talked of the promise of that relationship being something that was going to lift her into a different kind of life, this was exactly how I felt about the conference.  I had dared to dream of being catapulted stra...

We are all parts of a whole.  Our individual actions, conversations, behaviours and mindsets can have an impact on our larger society.  Collectively, we can make change happen.  Collectively, we can each help to create a gender equal world. We can all choose to be #EachforEqual  International Women's Day 2020   For whilst I appreciate that not everyone will share my view that we can no longer ignore the environmental impact of our decisions and we need to take action - now - it was somewhat disheartening when the woman working in the local health food shop launched, unbidden, into a tirade against Greta Thunberg and then revealed herself to be an advocate for world leaders being our best hope. Thankfully my faith in humanity was restored a couple of days later when I received some art materials wrapped in a cardboard alternative to bubble wrap.  Particularly pleasing because it was unexpected, the company's website made no reference to being ...

On Monday I met a friend for lunch who I have had little or no contact with for five years. Apportioning no blame for the absence of each other in our lives, we met with a certain level of excitement, nervousness and curiosity as to what we would find.  It was lovely to see her, and at the same time somewhat unsettling to sit down with someone as openly introspective as I am. Both buying into the idea that things happen for a reason - we then set about trying to work out what that reason was.  For her, it was a reminder of how far she has come since we last met, for me I think it was yet another wake up call that I haven't come very far at all. I can already hear another friend, asking me with raised eyebrows "You didn't tell her you did nothing did you?" Maybe?!  Actually no, I tried to tell her what I'd been up to but I can't quite shift the sense of shame that I'm still occupying my time with seemingly sporadic ideas that I'm hoping will one day...

PLEUTER , v., n., I. v . (1) To dabble with the hands or feet, gen. in a liquid, to splash aimlessly in mud or water, to wade messily through wet ground.  II. n . (1) The act of working or walking in wetness or mud, a splashing about   Dictionary of the Scots Language One of the greatest compliments I have been paid about my writing is to have been told by a close (and far better read) friend, that there is something in the way I write that is reminiscent of Scottish author Kathleen Jamie.  Unfamiliar with her work, I am then lent the book 'Findings' so we can get acquainted. Forty or so pages in, and I believe there is something serendipitous about our meeting. Sat curled up in front of the fire last Friday evening, reading about her experiences of watching a pair of peregrine falcons, I start to think about a fellow dog walker I meet who has built up a relationship (of sorts) with some crows.  Less to do with Satanic forces and more to do with the bread i...

OK, so I thought I had it sussed. Optimism over pessimism, anger management under control.  However, when your emotional response to the news is one of overwhelm, it turns out that's a whole different kettle of fish. Determined to make a difference and armed with my new found podcast from last week, I set out on a daily programme of re-education.  But a few days in and it's time for a rethink!  Instead of feeling inspired as I expanded my mind beyond the usual dog walking mental challenge of 'PopMaster' I started drowning in a sea of hopelessness. There is just too much wrong with the world: too many awful things happening to too many people and too much complacency about it; too much greed; too much plastic; and too many lies. It didn't take long for these feelings of anguish to spill over into my own life and Bam! instead of striding out across the park enjoying the fresh air and signs of spring, I'm trudging along getting stuck in the mud and dreaming o...

This is not a time for pessimism.  This is a time for optimism.  This is a time for tremendous hope and joy and optimism and action.  But to embrace the possibilities of tomorrow we must reject the perennial prophets of doom and their predictions of the apocalypse.    Donald Trump speaking at the World Economic Forum in Davos, January 2020 President Trump I do not agree that we should dismiss expert opinion nor should we use inflammatory language in doing so, but on the time for optimism and action you might have a point. Optimism on the day we leave the EU, you're joking right?!! Err, actually no, I'm not. This week I listened to 'What happened when Trump removed the experts?' on the BBC Radio 4 podcast 'Beyond Today'.  In this episode author Micheal Lewis talks about how Trump and Boris Johnson are tapping into anger for their political gain, and that, in his view, one of the most important issues facing us is how we control our emotional respon...

If there's ever a time to wake up, it's now Jerry Brown, Bulletin of Atomic Scientists At half past three on the 24 January 2019 I was the very grateful recipient of a one to one mentoring session aimed at kick starting my creative career, the photograph symbolic of my time having come. A year later and I can't help but feel that I've allowed it to slip by, in part due to feeling overwhelmed by living in a world that I increasingly don't recognise nor feel part of, a place where greed and consumerism are rife and pride in humanity is harder to find. I have made some progress with the launch of my creative career, but hurtling towards my 50th birthday I often become unstuck by technology that I don't understand and, a past master at self sabotage, it doesn't take much to throw me off course. I am very proficient at putting blocks in my way and sitting behind any number of excuses as to why not to do something. Yet over the past year there has al...