100 Seconds to Midnight

Whilst busy doing "nothing" I am in the middle of preparing a workshop on Setting Goals for Artists and Creatives. This may seem incredulous given my last post but as the saying goes - you teach best what you most need to learn. Without giving too much away, and therefore rendering my workshop superfluous before it's even begun, the overall premise is simple - rather than focusing on the end result, you attend to the process that is going to get you there. So, to give a couple of (possibly not entirely random) examples, instead of pinning all your hopes on being happy when you reach your somewhat arbitrary dream weight of 60kg you put your focus on finding ways to enjoy healthy eating (that doesn't rule out the odd piece of cake!) Thinking (somehow) your life will be improved when you can run parkrun in 24 minutes becomes - how can I motivate myself to consistently go for a run midweek? I have been trying to adopt the principals since the New Year, and unlike the us

On Monday I met a friend for lunch who I have had little or no contact with for five years. Apportioning no blame for the absence of each other in our lives, we met with a certain level of excitement, nervousness and curiosity as to what we would find.  It was lovely to see her, and at the same time somewhat unsettling to sit down with someone as openly introspective as I am. Both buying into the idea that things happen for a reason - we then set about trying to work out what that reason was.  For her, it was a reminder of how far she has come since we last met, for me I think it was yet another wake up call that I haven't come very far at all. I can already hear another friend, asking me with raised eyebrows "You didn't tell her you did nothing did you?" Maybe?!  Actually no, I tried to tell her what I'd been up to but I can't quite shift the sense of shame that I'm still occupying my time with seemingly sporadic ideas that I'm hoping will one day

PLEUTER , v., n., I. v . (1) To dabble with the hands or feet, gen. in a liquid, to splash aimlessly in mud or water, to wade messily through wet ground.  II. n . (1) The act of working or walking in wetness or mud, a splashing about   Dictionary of the Scots Language One of the greatest compliments I have been paid about my writing is to have been told by a close (and far better read) friend, that there is something in the way I write that is reminiscent of Scottish author Kathleen Jamie.  Unfamiliar with her work, I am then lent the book 'Findings' so we can get acquainted. Forty or so pages in, and I believe there is something serendipitous about our meeting. Sat curled up in front of the fire last Friday evening, reading about her experiences of watching a pair of peregrine falcons, I start to think about a fellow dog walker I meet who has built up a relationship (of sorts) with some crows.  Less to do with Satanic forces and more to do with the bread in his pocke

OK, so I thought I had it sussed. Optimism over pessimism, anger management under control.  However, when your emotional response to the news is one of overwhelm, it turns out that's a whole different kettle of fish. Determined to make a difference and armed with my new found podcast from last week, I set out on a daily programme of re-education.  But a few days in and it's time for a rethink!  Instead of feeling inspired as I expanded my mind beyond the usual dog walking mental challenge of 'PopMaster' I started drowning in a sea of hopelessness. There is just too much wrong with the world: too many awful things happening to too many people and too much complacency about it; too much greed; too much plastic; and too many lies. It didn't take long for these feelings of anguish to spill over into my own life and Bam! instead of striding out across the park enjoying the fresh air and signs of spring, I'm trudging along getting stuck in the mud and dreaming o