Expectations
On Monday I met a friend for lunch who I have had little or no contact with for five years. Apportioning no blame for the absence of each other in our lives, we met with a certain level of excitement, nervousness and curiosity as to what we would find. It was lovely to see her, and at the same time somewhat unsettling to sit down with someone as openly introspective as I am. Both buying into the idea that things happen for a reason - we then set about trying to work out what that reason was. For her, it was a reminder of how far she has come since we last met, for me I think it was yet another wake up call that I haven't come very far at all. I can already hear another friend, asking me with raised eyebrows "You didn't tell her you did nothing did you?" Maybe?! Actually no, I tried to tell her what I'd been up to but I can't quite shift the sense of shame that I'm still occupying my time with seemingly sporadic ideas that I'm hoping will one day...