Sowing Seeds

The same boiling water that softens the potato, hardens the egg.
It's about what you're made of, not the circumstances.
Unknown

This is the second time I've written a blog.  The first was a peek inside my one any only foray into the world of marathon running, I say peek but, after 750 continuous days, reading it was more of an endurance event than the actual race.  It became a daily habit that I enjoyed writing but grew increasingly uneasy with the fact that I was, to all intents and purposes, publishing a diary online and really what was the need?  It took a little over three and a half years, and a knee jerk reaction to the resetting of the Doomsday Clock, for the compulsion to write to resurface - what I've yet to really settle on is why?

Without wishing to jump back into the realm of diary (but alternate stimuli have been few and far between this week) I have received word that my art submissions have been moved from someone's 'to look at later' pile and put on the one marked 'discard'.  With no further information available I have no idea if this was 'discard as folly' or 'nice idea, but not quite worth our limited resources' and have had to reach my own conclusions.  No prizes for guessing where my head went initially, but there is progress in the fact that it didn't stay there for long, especially as it made me face my ego and the fine line between a necessary self belief and an over inflated view of self importance that lies therein.

The internal dialogue of 'you're kidding yourself if you think you're good enough' was matched by a response of 'I'm not sure that that is why I'm doing this'.  I'd be lying if I didn't admit that proving to myself that I am good enough wasn't in there somewhere, and certainly gaining 'likes' on Instagram makes me feel good, but there is something else that drives my need to create.

I want people to think.  I want to grab your attention for a moment and for you to question your perspective.  I want to encourage creative thought and I want to practice what I preach.

My response to the unprecedented circumstance in which we are now living is not going to be upset over a lost opportunity to exhibit my photographs (and for those of you who know me and may be a little concerned - they were not action shots!) My response is to accept that in this instance I failed in my ability to get those commissioning the work to see my perception of what it could be.  My response is to reinforce my self belief that what I'm trying to achieve is needed more than ever right now and whilst I look for alternate ways to express this creatively, that is why I write.  My response is that writing is not enough.  There are people who are in desperate need, charities who have seen their opportunities to fund raise dashed and a voice in my head that is saying there must be something I can do...

It is Easter this weekend, the celebration of the resurrection of Christ, the word resurrection being translated from the Greek anastasis, which means 'rising up' or 'standing up again'.  To those of us, to whom this has no religious significance, may we borrow some of the hope it offers to those, to whom it has.  May we rise up, stand up and each find our own ways to be of service.  And may we continue to look to the beauty of spring to know that the seeds we sow today will germinate, grow, blossom and bear the fruit of tomorrow.