Change

It's life, Jim

But not as we know it

Not as we know it

Not as we know it

It's life, Jim

But not as we know it

Not as we know it, Captain

O'Connor/Kehoe/Lister

Is it OK to hear voices in your head, if the voices are known to you and situation specific? Surely I can't be the only one who hears TV commentary when I'm baking, cooking dinner for friends and, my favourite one, running? When my inner Foster, Cram and Radcliffe arrive to have a wee discussion about my form, most commonly after a particularly bad face-pull triggers the conversation starter "You can see this is really starting to hurt now."  But when Patrick and Esme from the Great British Sewing Bee start questioning my decisions when trying to construct a dress, the end result of which is I end up ordering replacement fabric to start over, maybe I have more of a problem with this than most. Except that I know they are right and so back to square one I go, again, to a place that is becoming ever increasingly familiar.

The new dog does not behave the same as the old dog.  I wanted adventure but was apparently unprepared for the change he has brought, I am grieving for our old life and wondering how we will ever teach him to do anything when I'm struggling with being able to recall his name when called upon to do so.  I'm tired and emotional and whether or not I'm prepared to admit that my inability to cope with the change might have something to do with 'The Change' depends upon which way the wind is blowing when you ask - but generally it's safer to believe that I am on a transition curve (as devised by Kubler-Ross) and my behaviour is all perfectly understandable!

For those of you unfamiliar with this particular aspect of change management, it is a model that I have, at times, clung to over the past 25 years and put simply takes you through five phases: denial - when you continue doing what you used to do, which works initially but not for long; anger - when that stops working and you hit free fall; bargaining - where you try compromise but that doesn't work either; depression - where nothing will ever work again; and acceptance - when you start to incorporate the change into your life, eventually ending up in a better place than you were at the start.  

All well and good, until you discover that you're at different stages on multiple curves, which is unsurprisingly somewhat overwhelming and quite why you chose this week to start cutting fabric and devising your own pattern is a question that Alastair has had the good sense not to ask, but it may have something to do with denial.

To quote one of the other owners of a newly rescued pointer - we are a work in progress.  Everything is new to all of us and when we eventually sit down on an evening with two beautiful animals stretched out next to us we know it is already all worthwhile.  The willingness and ability of that little dog to put the bad bits of his past behind him and offer himself up to love and be loved is humbling.

But there are many hours of daylight to get through before we reach the sofa.  Perhaps he needs to run off some energy? Perhaps he'll be better running than walking? Perhaps I'll take him for an exploratory 5K to see how he gets on.... all worked a treat except he has a cruising pace two minutes quicker per mile than I'm used to and it's going to take some considerable effort to assimilate that change into my legs!