Little Black Dress

This may be happening to all of us,

but our response has to be personal.

My work has stopped.

My world has altered.

My life has changed.

My response to that is OK.

I don't know who wrote the above words.  I have found them scribbled on a scrap of paper in my handwriting, but I don't know if they are mine or someone else's, nor if I've used them here before.  But they seem as pertinent today as whenever I wrote them down.

I think it's fair to say I wasn't in the best headspace when I last wrote: questioning how many times I could write about gratitude and noticing the little things; wondering how many photographs I would take about being in the moment without actually living in it. This led to the - not so brief - hiatus between then and now, but it wasn't until recently that I was really able to put my finger on what I was feeling.  My experience summed up perfectly in the phrase 'creatively bankrupt' (and this time I know exactly where I was when I heard the dulcet tones of Simon Neil from Biffy Clyro being interviewed by Jo Whiley on BBC Radio 2).

Boom!! For someone who has spent the past three months hiding behind her sewing machine and swearing at her knitting this came as a bit of a wake up call.  There are, after all, only so many times you can take from a pot that isn't being replenished, despite all best efforts to the contrary.  There is something amiss with making new clothes that then hang in the wardrobe unworn.  I hinted at this in the summer with a selection of dresses it was never the right temperature to wear, and yet now that my 'AW20 winter collection' is complete they have all been subjected to the same fate.  It's like I'm busying myself making something that I will wear at some point in the future, yet I'll keep finding excuses about why that day has yet to arrive.  This is not feeding the tree.  This is misting the leaves and not attending to the roots.

Determined to finish this year on a high - proud of the things I have achieved and letting go of the things I haven't - I can't help but feel that, contrary to my earlier doubts, gratitude and learning to live in the moment better is ultimately what it's all about and, for me, a life change that is long overdue.  

Enter the 100 Day Dress Challenge!

A victim of an internet marketing ploy I may be, but I have today joined a growing band of women taking up the challenge from 'Wool &' to wear one of their dresses for 100 consecutive days.  There are many reasons cited for why anyone would try this - less time spent thinking about what to wear, less laundry, (although it can be washed!), less fast fashion, to name but a few.

For me, I don't think I'll struggle with the actual wearing of the dress, that requires the sort of bloody mindedness that from past experience I know I'm capable of, it's finite and measured and I'm largely in control.  What I'm more interested in is changes to my mindset, a chance to look inward, to find things that nourish my soul today, to take better care of me so that I still feel fabulous on day 63 of actively wearing the same thing.  I see it as giving myself a blank canvas to work with everyday, attending to the little things that will make a big difference, and constantly being grateful for what I do have rather than focussing on what I do not.  But I may yet regret my decision not to just get on and wear my newly stitched clothes whilst I still had the chance.

Right now, it is my intention to be back next Friday with an update.  Whether that fits with the moments I'll live between then and now remains to be seen but daily photo updates can be seen on Instagram @createbypauline.

OK, my little black dress is on, I'm ready and waiting.... let the challenge commence.

Own Less. Own Better.
Get to the things you love doing.