Mattering

I am living through a period of my life where I am probably the most resourced that I have ever been, in terms of learning new things and, at the same time, building a support network of people to help me in that learning.  People with brilliant minds who are turning out to be exceptionally gracious in both the sharing of their own knowledge and the passing on of other people's in the form of written and spoken word. My daily walks are increasingly in the company of great thinkers imparting their wisdom through my headphones and my reading list is expanding beyond anything that I will ever find time to read - the pile of books brought several months ago by 'Santa' steadily gathering dust upon the shelf.  Having my mind stretched is exciting, exhausting and sometimes surprising, as the person I have learnt the most from this week, is my son.  

Faced with an unenviable situation, in which it would have been easier to remain silent, he took a stand against something he inherently knew was wrong. Bearing witness to his pain as he navigated his way through the unfolding situation broke my heart but what was found when it opened, was not heartache but pride.

I say 'easier' but actually what I mean is less confrontational.  There would have been nothing easy about quietening his conscience had he said nothing, yet somehow my initial reaction was that this would have been the preferable option, when conflict was the alternative.  

I would like to think that the level of integrity I see in both him and his brother are, at least in some part, a reflection back of mine.  I know that if pushed I will most definitely fight my corner, and without a question of a doubt those of my sons, but to knowingly bring about such personal discomfort to speak for others? If I'm being entirely truthful I think that would depend on the scale of the injustice, the perceived hurt, the level of harm, based on some internal judgement about what matters enough. And it is this gap between what I know to be right and what I'm prepared to do about it when it's wrong that is really at the crux of how, as a society, we move forward from where we're at.  

Did you notice the shift from I to we? This is always the hardest part of my blog to write.  Where I attempt to take something that has affected me and my thinking and get it into your consciousness without sounding like I'm preaching.  So why the explicit change today?  Because we are connected, all of us, every living thing on the planet and we need to start unlearning the conditioning that has brought us to a point where we have forgotten this.  Our individual actions, or lack thereof, have direct and indirect consequences that we need to take responsibility for.  What I say, matters.  What I do, matters.  What I don't say or do, matters.  It is not a question of does it matter 'enough'.

Sitting in the echo of conversations regarding core values resulting from the latest Thrutopia session with Jeremy Lent on how we move towards an eco-civilisation, my friend and trusted travelling companion, Lisa, sent a link to a podcast* that had resonated with her and hit the spot with such precise timing that it was definitely not coincidence.  I needed to hear these words this week, and I share them now in the hope that they will find their spot elsewhere with the same timely arrival, or perhaps they will just sit with you for a while as you ponder your answers to the questions raised.

I was speaking one time in this environmental conference with Frances Moore Lappé and she put this slide up that said

Why are we together, choosing a world that we as individuals would never choose?

And so ever since that time I’ve wondered, if everyone really knew, if everyone was fully aware that they are actively co-creating the reality we're living in, how would we choose to behave right now? What thoughts would we breathe life into in this moment?  What actions would we engage to build the world that we would most like to inhabit?  What words would we choose to shape the relationships that we most want to have?  And so, essentially it becomes who would we be in that world? Not what would we be, but who would we be?

In more ways than one I'd like to be a bit more Hamish.

* Sherri Mitchell - Showing Up in Fullness on the Hurry Slowly podcast